Kissing Lessons
by Anpan Roller
Summary: Thanks to another malfunction in the Ten Year Bazooka, TYL Hayato and Takeshi are stuck in the present. Being bored, they give Gokudera and Yamamoto kissing lessons. 8059; TYL 8059. Bad language courtesy of Gokudera. Note: Chapter 2 includes lime.
1. To Kiss

**A/N**: It's 1.48 AM and tomorrow (or today)'s my exam. I hate 8059. I hate Amano Akira-sensei. I hate being a fangirl. (Urrgh why isn't 8059 canon yet???) So enjoy! :D  
P.S. I got inspiration from a 8059 doujinshi called Overjoyed. Go read it! It's cute!  
P.S.S. Because there are both 14 year old Gokudera and Yamamoto and their TYLs, I will be referring to TYL Gokudera and Yamamoto as Hayato and Takeshi respectively. (:

Disclamer: I do not own KHR.  
_Otherwise I wouldn't be stuck writing fanfics would I?_

* * *

"NO. FUCKING. WAY." Gokudera made his stand once more, leering at the two men in the room.

Hayato sighed, leaning against the wall of the room. "Was I really such a dickhead last time?" It was a rhetorical question.

Gokudera almost flung a deserving punch at them, if he was not restrained by Yamamoto. "Hahaha, calm down, Gokudera!" He sniggered.

Takeshi flashed a grin, "I thought it was cute."

Gokudera turned his head slowly to shoot Yamamoto a death glare, who responded by laughing like an idiot as always. And then he noticed how Yamamoto's arms were wrapped around his waist, and the fact that his face was almost buried in his chest. Irritated, he shoved the clingy idiot away. And then ordered him to not get on the bed when he was on it, despite it being Yamamoto's bedroom.

"You know," Hayato started, "We aren't exactly entertained right now."

Gokudera's hand slammed the mattress, to not much effect, "Then go disturb the stupid cow! Get him to fix the bloody bazooka and quickly send you guys back!"

Takeshi chuckled, "We scared him when we appeared and he saw the monsters between our legs, remember?"

"Well it's YOUR fault you were sticking that family jewel of yours up my - no - _his_ ass!" Gokudera blurted out. And then he remembered, "AND WHY WERE YOU RAPING M- _HIM_!"

Yamamoto's permanently-happy voice cut in, "Actually you were the one who made Lambo cry. That's why he pulled out his Ten Year Bazooka. Bad timing, Gokudera. Hahaha..."

Hayato nodded in agreement, hanging that smug smirk on his face that made Gokudera even more agitated. "And besides, it's not really rape if it's consensual."

Yamamoto and Gokudera stared at them as though they had flicked Hibari's nose and came back alive. "C... Consensual?!" They exclaimed at the same time. Then Gokudera went on to punching Yamamoto's face for exclaiming in unison.

"Yup," A wide grin spread across Takeshi's face. "We're together."

Ignoring the waterfalls of blood streaming from his broken nose, Yamamoto asked, "And oyaji didn't mind? That... That his son is gay?" And he got karate chopped by Gokudera again for ignoring his severe bleeding.

Takeshi crossed his arm, beaming broadly at the boy with pride, "Nope. He was bouncing with joy."

Hayato buried his hands in his pockets, joining in, "Elated, in fact. That night he treated the entire of Namimori sushi."

Gokudera was about to open his mouth, when Hayato butted in again, "And if you're going to ask about Jyuudaime,"

"Tsuna said he was happy for us too," Takeshi added.

"Gave us all his blessings," Hayato remarked.

"Everyone did," Takeshi laughed.

"Told us to invite them to our wedding."

"Which we did."

"And to have grandchildren."

"That old man of mine."

"Ten thousand of them, in fact."

"And we're trying to."

"But nothing has happened."

"Despite doing it ten times a day."

"Therefore we need to teach you guys the art of having grandchildren," Hayato looked up at them.

"Because adolescents are more fertile," Takeshi flashed a thumbs-up at the boys.

Gokudera and Yamamoto could only gawk at them. They didn't know what was more astonishing; the fact that they believed ten thousand grandchildren was possible, or the fact that they actually did it ten times a day and were still alive.

"Hahaha!" Yamamoto nudged Gokudera, breaking out of his trance, "Hey, we finished each other's sentence! That seems fun!"

"Shut up!" He yelled at him. He turned to continue shouting at his future self, "And I thought I was smarter than that! Any idiot would know it's impossible to have grandchildren between you morons! And ten thousand grandchildren is just... ABCDEFG!"

Takeshi chuckled, "When did you make up that word, Hayato?"

"When I figured out you can't recite the alphabets."

Yamamoto's eyes widened at Gokudera, "You mean that wasn't a bad word?"

"Yes, you PQRST!" Gokudera snapped, patience wearing thin.

"Yes that's a bad word?" He enquired, getting more and more confused with the situation.

"No!"

"No's a bad word?"

"No you idiot!"

"Hahaha, you just cursed me!" Yamamoto guffawed.

Gokudera clenched his mouth shut, knowing that the best way to shut him up was to shut up himself. Clamping his shaking fists, he pivoted towards the two men again. "Either way," He started, annoyance creeping into his voice. "We are _not _going to entertain you by letting you teach us how to kiss. So please find someone else to bother."

Hayato, giving up the meagre strand of hope he held for his 14-year-old self, turned to Yamamoto, "If you kiss that idiot I'll give you a tuna." Takeshi (having grown up grew a _teensy bit_ of common sense too) frowned at being treated like this, it should at least be _two_ tunas, oh and throw a sashimi in if possible.

"No you idiot!" Yamamoto bursted. Everyone in the room blinked at him. "Sorry! Was that word _really_ bad? I just thought of trying it out... Hahaha!"

Gokudera smacked him in the back of his head, although he was a little smug that his disgraceful future self got owned by a baseball idiot like him. Maybe he should teach him english more often.

Takeshi sighed, "Looks like we'll have to do it by force then." He marched over to the silver-haired teen on the bed.

Upon the sight of the much larger man approaching, Gokudera started to grow uneasy. "Eh, wh- what are you doing?" he demanded, despite his trembling voice. Hayato only watched silently, while Yamamoto was still busy trying to ignore the gushing nosebleeding that came back.

Gokudera inched back some more, until his back collided with the wall. "Oi-oi...! If you d-dare come clos-ser I'll-" He repeated that last syllable several times, because he wasn't sure either.

In one clean swipe Takeshi clutched the back of Gokudera's head and reeled him in, landing his lips on the petrified boy's.

Hayato and Yamamoto's jaws dropped. Everyone in the room remained shocked, appalled, flabbergasted, and all other possible synonyms listed in the thesaurus, as the swordsman casted his relentless spell on the rain guardian.

A surge of fury rose through his body. With eyes that screamed revenge, Hayato placed his hand on Yamamoto's shoulder, "Hey, let's get unfaithful-"

But he didn't realise the sharp glint in Yamamoto's eyes. Ignoring his senior's suggestion, the Japanese teen stomped forward, fist clenched tight, preparing themselves for impact. All his usual cheeriness was gone, and refreshed with an aura of terror.

"You...!" He leapt off. He raised his knuckle, getting ready to disfigure that man, even if it was himself. But midair he felt a sudden explosion of pain through his bottom, and the last things he heard were, "Hit a homerun! Go!". Takeshi had disappeared, and Yamamoto had no way to stop his dive towards the bed. Gokudera's stunned face grew closer and closer as he fell.

_Buchu~_

Yamamoto flipped open his eyelids. His pupils dilated. Right in front of him was Gokudera's equally unbelieving eyes. His lips were smacked onto his friend's soft ones. Since when did Gokudera get such sweet lips? Did they eat candy just now? Not that he could think of. And how had he not noticed Gokudera's soul-piercing eyes before? They were so captivating. And his silver hair, the way it glistened and fell so gently into place... And don't even get him started on that silky skin of his.

Gokudera was disgusted. Utterly, deeply disturbed. This being the result of having been kissed twice by the same person in less than a minute. Even though he was a good kisser. The way Yamamoto's subtle lips pressed so skillfully against his led him to conclude that the baseball idiot was a born kisser. Wait, what was that wave of heat throbbing in his body? And that increasing heart rate? His face... His face is hot? He can't be blushing! Oh man, he's... he's... he's enjoying this! No!

Mustering the remaining dignity he had left, he heeled Yamamoto in the stomach, breaking their kiss. "Bakka! That was my first kiss you idiot!" And he proceeded to raining torrents of punches, kicks, and body slams onto the stupidly-laughing Yamamoto.

Watching everything from the side, (they swore they just saw Yamamoto's soul escape him) Takeshi couldn't help but ask, "Hey Hayato, were you really bored, or do I get the feeling that you just want to kill me sooner?"

Hayato fished out his cigarrette and lit up, "A little bit of both."

* * *

**A/N:** Hee! I hope you liked this! Otherwise it'd be really sad for me to sacrifice my revision time and... ah don't get me started on whining. My exam's in a few hours time (it's morning now because the internet connection was lost yesterday -or today- night. Urrgh.) so what you kind people can do in the mean time is to pray very very hard for me, or give me a review!  
Oh by the way, 'buchu' is sort of like the onomatopoeia for kissing, so you get the idea. :3 And I apologise for Yamamoto's OOC-ness!  
And, I'm thinking, just thinking, that if this fic goes well perhaps I'll work on a second chapter where Hayato and Takeshi teaches them how to really make grandchildren! What do you guys think?

Once again, thank you very much for taking your time out to read. See you soon!

P.S. Dear Yamamoto. I sincerely apologise for abusing you today. I promise you will get your revenge on Gokudera soon. *avoids flying dynamites*


	2. And To Make Grandchildren

**A/N: **Finally found the plot bunny! Hope it's up to standard, and enjoy!

P.S. This chapter contains **LIME**. Okay, not really lime, but still suggestive sexual references. So don't say I didn't warn you!

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR

* * *

Gokudera knew from the start leaving those three alone in a locked room was a bad idea. A devious right hand man, a fiesty swordsman and an unconscious 14-year-old was never a good combination. The reverbration of the creaking of the old bed frames and the constant groans emitting from inside the room just further proved his theory. The words of their ten-years-later selves from the afternoon echoed in his head, '_We're_ _going to teach you the art of making grandchildren!_'

He's having an extremely bad feeling about this.

Ignoring the spillage from the glass of water in his hand, and the fact that the door was locked, he booted the door open. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ASSHOLES!" He roared at the members inside. "I was just getting a glass of water for the idiot for one minute and you guys can't even control yourselves?"

It was only after the outburst that he noticed the innocent arm-wrestling match going on on the bed between Hayato and Takeshi.

Hayato, whose back was facing him, whipped his head around with a spiteful expression. "And there I was wondering why I had so little friends when I was younger," he complained with much sarcasm.

"I know you're angry at pretty much everything, Gokudera," Takeshi added, with a concerned grin in place, "But I didn't know arm-wrestling was one of them."

Gokudera, trying to hold back his bright scarlet face, opened his mouth, but no smart retort came out. So he snapped it back shut angrily.

Hayato gave an satisfied smirk, saying, "He thought we were having our late night exercises."

Takeshi blinked for a moment, before finally catching on to the metaphor. That's why he prefered having a universal term for that activity, it's easier to remember. "Haha!" He guffawed, "I didn't know 14-year-old Gokudera thought of that all the time!"

"No I don't! It's just that with you two concipiscent hyperactive DNA-sprinklers around everything became so damn warped!" Gokudera snarled. He took in a breath, and closed his eyes and massaged his temples in vexation, attempting to cool down.

"Ah, is this for me? Thanks!" All of a sudden Takeshi appeared in front of him, and casually helped himself to the glass of water.

"That's not for you, idiot!" Gokudera barked, and snatched the glass from the man. It has already touched his mouth, but since they're both the same person anyway, so Gokudera figured it would still be okay to let Yamamoto drink.

He promptly stomped over to where the bruised Yamamoto laid sleeping on the floor. He gave his shoulder a small kick (having been the one who landed him in this state), and ordered, "Baseball idiot, wake up. I've brought the water you've been whining for all day."

Yamamoto let out a little grunt, and fell back into his slumber. Gokudera groaned, and heaved his upper body up to prop him against the wall, before placing the glass in between his dry lips. Automatically, Yamamoto began downing the contents of the container. When he was done, Gokudera clumsily laid him back down again. He was still speculating whether or not Yamamoto really preferred sleeping on the floor, or if it was another trick by the two bored-to-the-brink-of-death adults to entertain themselves with.

Hayato, watching the scene, rested his chin in his palm, as he wondered, "How did I stand deceiving myself? I mean, it's obvious you like him. When will you ever get out of your denial, Small Gokudera?"

Gokudera clenched his fists so hard the cup was on the verge of shattering. "For the last time I do _not_ like that idiot! I'm only doing this because I was the one who beat the living daylights out of him! And stop calling me that!"

"How about Little Gokudera?"

"No!"

"Baby Gokudera?"

"Don't even dream about it!"

Yamamoto's slurring joined in. "Gokudera... I'm feeling very hot..."

"Shush! Can't you see I'm in an argument!" Gokudera snapped.

"Minuscule?" Hayato continued, finding the teasing especially entertaining.

"I said, n-"

"Diminutive?"

"Hey! I didn't finish the last sente-"

"Undersized?"

"Oi! I-"

"Peewee?"

Gokudera, by this point, concluded that short, simple syllables were the only possible rebuttals with effect. "Go die."

Takeshi broke the series with his amused laughter, even though he didn't understand half of the relatively profound vocabulary. But hey, at least he knew the meaning of 'peewee', and it's funny! And thinking about peewee makes him think of pee, and thinking about pee makes him think of the hanging anatomy, and thinking about the hanging anatomy makes him think about the late night exercises, which led them back to...

"Oh yeah, Hayato, we forgot to impart the art of making grandchildren."

...Exactly what Gokudera wanted to avoid.

Gokudera crossed his arm to feign authority, and insisted, "_Never_! No way in hell you're going to turn us into senseless creatures whose mating season is virtually everyday like you. We have our dignity thank you very much."

Hayato pulled on a doubtful expression and commented, "What makes you think so when we've made you guys kiss?" He pointed his index finger as though reciting a word of wisdom. "Kissing, is the essence of foreplay."

Yamamoto's suffering moans entered their conversation again. "Gokudera... Why is it so hot...? Even... Even when I've taken off my shirt... It's still... So hot..."

Gokudera waved his hand as an indication of dismissal, impatient. "Hang on I'll get you ice later! I'm discussing matters that concerns life and death!" Then he turned back to face the two men. "That's only because you forced us! I'm not going to fall for your trick again! Foreplay my ass!"

Takeshi chuckled, "I'll be more than willing to."

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!" Gokudera roared, having realised what he had just said. He made a mental note to put more thoughts into the phrasing of his profanities, especially with retards like these.

"That's what you said when Takeshi kissed you," Hayato paused to shoot Takeshi a death glare that said 'You're so dead when we go back', and looked at Gokudera again, "Or are you indicating?"

Gokudera scrunched up his face in chagrin, yelling, "No, no, no, no, no!" The more he thought about what became of him ten years later, the more frustration and dejection it brought him.

"Go-Gokudera... I... I'm dying... My body's... burning..." Yamamoto's weak and frail voice punctuated the conversation. But was immediately ignored in the heat of the debate, pun not intended.

Takeshi raised an eyebrow at Hayato, suggesting, "Looks like we'll have use physical means again."

Gokudera instantly threatened, "If you _dare_ come near me your manhood is going to be replaced by a dynamite."

"Easy for you to say, it's _my_ butt damn it," Hayato called out from the side.

Gokudera gritted his teeth, getting more and more annoyed with the situation. Before he could say something Takeshi cut in, "Oh don't worry, I won't do what I did to you in the afternoon." And he flashed _the_ smile; the crafty smile which Gokudera knew hid daggers behind it.

Suddenly an arm was slung around his shoulder from the back, making him jump. "Gokudera..." Yamamoto's raspy voice fanned down the pores of his neck. "I... I can't stand it anymore... It's too... It's too hot..."

Cold sweat formed on Gokudera's forehead. "Wh-What are you talking about? You're not going to...!" He flipped his head back towards Takeshi, "What did you do to him??"

"I spiked his drink."

"You did wha- AH!" But before Gokudera could lash out at the man again he was slammed onto the floor and promptly pinned down by the topless teen. Staring at the lusty eyes of a drowsy and reddening Yamamoto, instincts told him to start trashing about savagely. "Let me go! You don't know what you're doing! Oi!" However, it was all futile because for some reason, the supposedly-injured teen had an unbelievably strong grip on him, and remained as sturdy as a rock.

"Your skin is so smooth... Gokudera... Can I... touch it...?"

And that would be the cue for the two adults to leave the youngsters to fend for themselves. Afterall, it's the thrill of not knowing what to do that makes the First Time exciting. They left the rioting edgy teen and the hormonal Japanese alone, and snuck out of the room, remembering to lock the door. Sounds of the endeavour persisted as Hayato leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette.

"Aren't you supposed to be unconscious? Hey let go!"

"Stop resisting, Gokudera... I can't stand it anymore..."

"Stop resisting?! My virginity is at stake here and you tell me to stop resisting?! Who's the one who brought you water just now, huh? Where's your sense of gratitude? Get the fuck off me!!"

"... Don't blame me, for doing this then..."

"Wa-Wait!"

"SHIGURE SOEN RYUU!!"

"SISTEMA C.A.I ACTIVATE!!"

A contented smirk tugged at the ends of Hayato's lips as he eyed his slightly surprised partner. "Told you that was my inspiration for inventing Sistema C.A.I."

As it seemed, the world ten years later really lacked entertainment.

* * *

**A/N: **Sa! Hope you liked it! And I certainly hope my sexual references didn't sound too crude. (Nights of fangirl-ism-fuelled conversations with my fellow yaoi-fan friend just made us more or less numb to those words.)

And for all those who're wondering, it was because of the malfunction in the Ten Year Bazooka and made both their TYLs and the present selves here, and stayed for more than 5 minutes. Hope that clears up any confusion!

Thank you for reading, and criticisms and comments are welcomed!


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